Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Back tracking...

March 31st, 2011

We will start with the evening of March 30. It had been an incredibly long day at work; my day started at 5:30 a.m. and I wasn't off until about 4:30 p.m. The plan was to head to the gym, but my life rarely goes to plan. Panda needed his work truck's brakes fixed and so I picked him and and then we went to the gym together. We both figured that since the place closed at 6 p.m. that his van would be done by then. Wrong. So wrong. While we waited I casually mentioned today I was due to start my period. He laughed and said that's funny because we haven't had a stupid argument yet (we always get into an argument the day before I am supposed to start). Around that time the mechanic came out to say that it would be at least an hour or so more.....we decided to venture to Target to pick up a test, just in case.

When we got to Target I wanted to do anything but look at pregnancy tests - I avoided it as long as possible by browsing in the dollar section and clothing and electronics. Finally I felt like it was "time" so we walked over and picked up the ClearBlue Digital pregnancy tests.

.......$45 later we returned to pick up the van. We went home and I waited for us to argue about something totally lame. Didn't happen. He made me a steak dinner that I ate half of (highly unusual) and promptly fell asleep fully expecting to start overnight.

The next morning I woke up and felt absolutely fine but I had set the test out the prior night for me to use so I used it. Instead of waiting around I decided to occupy myself by heating water for my hardboiled eggs. Let me tell you, that was the longest 3 minutes of my life.

This is what I came back to:

I couldn't believe it. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or what. So I did want any sensible chick would do with a supposed positive pregnancy test, I shook it and looked again. It definitely was positive! I sat on the edge of the bed and asked Panda to wake up. He covered his eyes and mumbled something about he was sleeping and couldn't read anything. I sat on top of him and said please tell me what this says. He grumbled, I don't know, pregnant? Haha, it was rather entertaining because when I said yes he got all bug eyed and asked if I was lying.

Neither of us knew what to do really. I paced around the house and he kind of just sat there!

I looked in the mirror and as crazy as this sounds, I looked different to myself. In a span of 5 minutes my world had changed. I felt strong and beautiful. Suddenly it wasn't Moe in the mirror, it was someone else. It wasn't about me. I became someone who would give the world to ensure that my little one is safe. I wanted to do whatever it took to keep my little womb a happy dwelling place for the little dot.

I instantly gave up: my thrice daily double matcha shot (caffeine), dinner time soda, semi carb-less diet to make sure that my body was the perfect place.


Fast forward to April 11th...

At 2:30 I had my first prenatal appointment. My friend referred me to her Ob/Gyn, fortunately I was able to get in with his Nurse Practitioner. I filled out all of the paperwork, peed in a cup (and peed a few other times ) and waited for what felt like forever. I was called back. They took my weight and blood pressure and asked about my period. They gave me literature on Prenatal Screening and told me a bit about it. Then came the fun part...............! Karen came in and gave me a Pelvic Exam. I am a little bit bummed about what she had to say. I have been told that I have a "tight arch" which I guess means that I may have to have a C-section. I actually want to do a homebirth.....and in that moment I felt crushed. She told me that I may be able to deliver vaginally if I keep my weight down (as if standing on the scale looking at my starting weight didn't do that enough). I truly do not want a c-section.....I guess we will have to wait and see. Panda immediately sensed my sadness and reached over to hold my hand....

On to some happy stuff!

According to the little last period wheel thing my EDD is December 7, 2011.

Our first formal prenatal appointment was April 25 at 4 p.m. with all the other "fun" stuff, blood work, pap smear, medical history, etc.

Panda didn't even ask to be excused for the Pelvic and he wants to be there for the next appointment. I am a lucky mama!

I just want to fast forward to week 13.

I just want to see the ultrasound to see that my little Fleck is okay.

I really hope that our baby is okay.

Some days I think that this is all just a dream. I always have to pee but I always feel such relief to see that the toilet paper it clean (sorry, tmi).

I can't wait to meet him/her.

I thought I loved my dogs entirely too much, but no, I love this little baby, the size of a sesame seed more than I love life itself.

I am so happy.



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