Sunday, May 27, 2012

It's all (Fenu)Greek to Me

I am linking up!
So Easy Being Green
Monday Blog Hop

One of my biggest mommy fears has taken life in front of my eyes.

My milk supply has dropped.

It is our busiest season at work which means that there isn't as much time for me to pump anymore. Then, the other day I decided to take a peek at our frozen milk stash in the freezer and was horrified by what I saw. There were only five bags of milk left. FIVE. I had pumped and saved religiously for months and all we had were five bags.
 Wanna talk about a meltdown? I called Roy, of course....the poor guy, bless his heart. I was blubbering nonsense over the phone trying to explain what was happening and guess what? He understood every single word.

My theory is that his mother and my sister (who watch Aub) are "comfort feeding" her. Why do I think this? Because when I am with Aubrey she will only eat every three hours at the least. So, if she eats about 3-4 ounces at a time and I am only gone for about 10 hours and I feed her right before I leave she shouldn't be eating more than the six bottles I leave for the day.

I am so upset.

So who do I turn to? Google, of course. Good ol' Google suggested Fenugreek so off I trekked to the local GNC for two bottles of this stuff:

And a box of this:

I have been taking the Fenugreek 3-4 three times a day and let me tell you, I really think this stuff works!

Before when I was at work I wouldn't feel "full" until about 1 p.m. now, if I don't pump by 10 a.m. I am hurtin'. I used to only pump once, maybe twice per day. Now I have to pump three times. While I am not quite up to the point of being able to freeze more than one bag a day I am getting there.

Hopefully I can continue to rebuild my supply. I would feel horrible if I had to quit breastfeeding and give Aub formula. Not that I look down on those that do use formula, it has been my goal to BF Aub until she was at least a year old. Actually, I want to do the Baby Led Weaning, so keep your fingers crossed, friends!

In less than ten days Aub will turn six months so we will begin feeding her baby cereal and veggies and fruits so I should be able to continue to pump and freeze.

Now, for a photo dump!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

It's Time....

...To return to Meltdown Mondays with Mama.

I am tired of looking at myself in the mirror and HATING what I see. I know that I am five months postpartum but for someone who used to work out five days a week and run up to ten miles at a time it is difficult to see what I see.
I asked Roy what he thought of my body now and his reply was, "you are still beautiful to me and I love the way your body looks but it isn't the same." He didn't mean for it to hurt but the words stung.
I am very sensitive by nature and I am my own worst critic so I let the words marinate for a bit and did not like the outcome.
So I went and bought this:
Baby Trend Expedition Swivel Jogging Stroller - Quartz JG94720
And these:
<em>SAUCONY</em> Grid Flex Women's <em>Running Shoe</em>, Black/Pink - 9.0
A few of these:
Womens <em>Bally</em> Lot Of 2 Gray Red High Impact <em>Sports Bra</em> Size L 36c \ 38b
And those:
Nike <em>Woman</em> Legend Capri <em>Workout Pants</em> - Black 3X
Then I went on Pinterest and pinned a few things like this:
workout workout workout
And lastly I downloaded this onto my phone:

I decided that Monday would be The Day. I woke up excited to know that that day I was starting on my path to getting my body back.
Later that evening I strapped the baby in and headed off to the park nearby. I had Pandora blasting in my headphones, the Couch to 5k app running and I was headed out the door.
Keep in mind, I have not gone on a serious run in about two years.
It. Felt. Amazing.
Granted, my run went like so:
run for one minute, walk for 90 seconds.
Maneuvering the jogging stroller was a little bit difficult and it was about 90 degrees outside but I felt good, you guys. Like, better than good. I felt free.
I haven't felt that in forever.
And yesterday I kept thinking to myself, "Ooooh, I get to run tomorrow!" I really think that it is working.
And, tonight Roy wanted to come along. The last time we went running together it ended with Roy running backwards and me stomping off. But tonight he was amazing. So encouraging and uplifting. He kept tell me how great I was doing and that he was so proud of me.
So here's to the new mama! Let's see what happens in eight weeks!
Hopefully by that time I will feel more comfortable of posting the before and afters.

Wordless Wednesday

The greatest love

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The Rest

Mother's Day was fantastic. For someone who has never been celebrated as a Mum I felt so appreciated.
For starters, my best friend had flown in from Georgia for several days and yesterday after a very long day at work I got to go out for a long overdue coffee sesh with her. 
The day went as follows:
  •  I got to sleep in today. Gymboree was closed in honor of the day and we totally took advantage of it. Aubs didn't even wake up until 9:30. 
  • My dad came by for a visit and he got to see my Monster
  • We went to a new deli out in Norco and it was amazing! 6th St. Deli was the best!
  • We came home and lounged around for awhile
  • Talked to my Mum for a bit
  • Papa announced that he was going to wash my car - and wash it he did!!!!! It looks like a brand new car! Aub got to wear one of her many swimsuits

And now, we are about to eat an extremely late dinner.
Ahhhh, yes, Mother's Day was amazing!
Hope all of you had a great day of celebrating the amazing women in your lives!

Mum's Day Thus Far...

Lounging around 

Like mother, like daughter

So far, so good!

Friday, May 11, 2012


Has it really been five days since my last update? Sheesh! It wasn't even a good one, just a "Wordless" post!

Ay, I know I have been complaining a lot of exhaustion -
 that is still very much the case with my lack of posting. I have been so tired I haven't even taken Monster's five month photo session yet!

Here is a recap of the last week:
  • Aub turned five months
  • Roy and I celebrated our five year anniversary
  • I had a work meeting at which I found out that my store was #1 in my district, #2 in my region and #4 in the entire company for the first quarter! 
  • Tried (Ha!) to get Aub to sleep in her own it horrible that I miss her next to me?
  • I have contemplated getting back into running - it was like my religion, my go to for whatever emotion I was feeling. Therapy, if you will.
  • My incision started hurting whenever I would laugh, sneeze or cough. It only last a couple of days
And that is pretty much it! Not a whole lot of fun stuff going on over here.
I am psyched to celebrate my first Mother's Day on Sunday. I  decided the best way to celebrate is to do nothing at all.

In all honesty, I have been wanting to blog and I have come up with some great topics, or so I think. But you know, I always think of them while I am at work and I NEVER EVER take the time to write them down : (
Boo, Moe. I need to fix that!
Until next time....

Sunday, May 6, 2012


My Dearest Aubrey Rose, Little Monster,

Yesterday you turned five months old. It feels like just yesterday I was sitting in this exact spot writing your four month letter. I am currently watching your Papa hold you as he is trying to get you to sleep.
You see, tonight we had this grand idea that we should try to put  you in your crib. I had given you your two favorite B's: a bath and a boob and I had you knocked out in no time flat. I had gotten your room ready early, I had the fan blowing quietly and your sound machine on with the projections of monkeys on. As soon as I set you in your crib you started wailing. Papa looked at me so sadly as I pulled him out of the room to let you cry it out, which, btw, only lasted about a minute....sigh, mom fail!
At your last doctor's appointment you weighed 16.15 pounds and were 25 inches tall. It made me feel so good to know that you have gained ten pounds from breastmilk alone! Your doctor suggested that I start giving you rice cereal but I think we will give you another month. Mama's not quite ready to give you anything else on a regular basis. But we have indulged you with a pretzel in the last week...
This month brought on some new things for you:
- Sitting up on your own
- Squealing almost non-stop
- Discovering your toes
- Grabbing at everything that comes in your line of vision
- Occasionally reaching out for me when someone else is holding you

You like:
- Standing
- Baths
- Pulling on the dog's hair
- Grabbing and pulling on faces and hair
- "Talking"
- Looking out of the window during car rides
- Tasting water
This month was a little bit difficult for mama. There was a week where it seemed nothing made you happy and it made mama question her ability to parent. There have also been a few times where it has been made apparent that mama is unhappy with her birth experience and that has also made her question her ability to parent and her faith in her own body. But, you are back to your happy go lucky self and I am working through my issues.
It still never ceases to amaze me that you came from me and you are my daughter.
 The bond between you and I is indescribable and I hope you know that I will never take that for granted.
I am completely smitten with you and so many people have mentioned that they have noticed how happy you have made me. 

I love you more than words and even though watching you grow is incredibly bittersweet I cannot wait to see what this month will bring.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Long days

This mama is tired.
I haven't trained anyone to work at my store since this time last year and I had forgotten how exhausting and demanding it is with just one, let alone FOUR new people. By the end of my ten hour shift I am exhausted at best and would love nothing more than to curl up on the couch for a hot date with Ben and Jerry and reruns of the Real Housewives.
 But instead, I come home to this:

And suddenly everything about the day is more than worthwhile and I will spend the next few hours playing, bouncing, feeding, bathing and watching this gorgeous little Monster fall fast asleep. 
It never ceases to amaze me that I created her and that she is mine. 
And it doesn't matter what happened that day, be it a crappy customer (or five) or that my numbers aren't where I want them to be, or that it appears that my entire team's morale has dropped considerably while I was on my maternity leave and I am left to pick up the pieces - it is all soooo worth it. 
Sometimes I loathe the fact that I am a working mama. To be honest, I didn't think I would want to stay home but giving birth to her changed me. I thought I was a business woman


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