5-5

My Dearest Aubrey Rose, Little Monster,

Yesterday you turned five months old. It feels like just yesterday I was sitting in this exact spot writing your four month letter. I am currently watching your Papa hold you as he is trying to get you to sleep.
You see, tonight we had this grand idea that we should try to put  you in your crib. I had given you your two favorite B's: a bath and a boob and I had you knocked out in no time flat. I had gotten your room ready early, I had the fan blowing quietly and your sound machine on with the projections of monkeys on. As soon as I set you in your crib you started wailing. Papa looked at me so sadly as I pulled him out of the room to let you cry it out, which, btw, only lasted about a minute....sigh, mom fail!

At your last doctor's appointment you weighed 16.15 pounds and were 25 inches tall. It made me feel so good to know that you have gained ten pounds from breastmilk alone! Your doctor suggested that I start giving you rice cereal but I think we will give you another month. Mama's not quite ready to give you anything else on a regular basis. But we have indulged you with a pretzel in the last week...

This month brought on some new things for you:

- Sitting up on your own

- Squealing almost non-stop

- Discovering your toes

- Grabbing at everything that comes in your line of vision

- Occasionally reaching out for me when someone else is holding you

You like:

- Standing

- Baths

- Pulling on the dog's hair

- Grabbing and pulling on faces and hair

- "Talking"

- Looking out of the window during car rides

- Tasting water

This month was a little bit difficult for mama. There was a week where it seemed nothing made you happy and it made mama question her ability to parent. There have also been a few times where it has been made apparent that mama is unhappy with her birth experience and that has also made her question her ability to parent and her faith in her own body. But, you are back to your happy go lucky self and I am working through my issues.

It still never ceases to amaze me that you came from me and you are my daughter.

 The bond between you and I is indescribable and I hope you know that I will never take that for granted.

I am completely smitten with you and so many people have mentioned that they have noticed how happy you have made me. 

I love you more than words and even though watching you grow is incredibly bittersweet I cannot wait to see what this month will bring.

Love,

Mama

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