Thursday, March 22, 2012

Taking My Baby

I wanted to write a post about this the day it happened but life happened and I got sick and had to work an 11 hour work day. And, well, I guess it worked out for the better because I can now think about this rationally.

Phew. Here we go.

A few weeks ago when the Southern California weather was unseasonably warm Roy's parents (who watch Aubrey 3 days a week) asked if they could take her to an outside market. They kind of cornered me when they asked me (Roy wasn't home) and I caved and said yes. I honestly can't remember what my heart truly wanted to say because my feelings towards his parents are rather mixed.

Fast forward to Monday. It was my day off and I covet those moments I have with my daughter above all else. I feel like I miss out on so much of her during the week that Sundays at Gymboree and all day Monday are incredibly sacred and special. Anyway, Roy was home and I was playing with Aub on the floor and he gets a phone call from his parents...

I can hear something about coming over to pick something up and my heart rate instantly rises. Turns out they want to take Aubrey to the outside market on Tuesday.

I can't help it when I blurt out that I don't want them to come over right then and there. Roy asks them to come over in an hour.

I. Lost. It.

I don't understand who or what took over. The best that I can describe is that I became a crazy woman. It was as if I was watching someone take my baby in front of my eyes. I was so worried and scared and angry. I know that his dad is a very safe driver but I couldn't help but picture something happening to Her. I knew that if anything were to happen regardless of whose fault it was that I would never be able to forgive his parents. I couldn't think straight. I felt like a wounded mama tiger. Time stood still and my mind raced a million miles a minute. I was absolutely irrational. Poor Roy looked so confused as I paced the house with wild eyes exclaiming that this was unfair.

I was outside of myself. I was having an out of body experience and I knew that I was acting crazy. I tried to explain to Roy and what came out sounded nothing more than strings of syllables.

I had to leave. I knew that if I stayed around the house that my tongue my slip and I might say something horrid to his parents.

I left and his parents came and left. They were given explicit instructions about keeping her bundled and not to let strangers get near her.

The next day came and went just fine. She was fine when I got home.

I still can't help but not feel comfortable with the idea of anyone other than myself or Roy taking her anywhere.

Am I truly crazy overprotective???
Anyone else experience anything like this?

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