Sunday, February 5, 2012

Tonight we went on our first date since Aubrey came into this world. My sister very graciously offered to babysit her while we went for a couple of hours. The few hours leading up to my sister's arrival were super exciting. All I could think about was what I was going to wear and how I wanted to do my makeup. Roy held the baby so that I could take a nice, long shower and take the time to actually put myself together. My sister arrived and we got out of the house without a single idea as to where we were going to eat. It was kind of fun not having any concrete plans (other than dinner and a movie) and not having a tiny human being to worry about. We finally decided on a restaurant and a table for two took 45 minutes! As we waited I felt like I couldn't relax and just be Marisa. I quickly realized that what was normal to us before has really, seriously changed since having Monster. It was weird to be alone. I was so anxious! I kept thinking about Monster...Roy would be talking and I would be looking right at him but I didn't hear a thing that was being said. "I wonder if she knows to sing 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' to Aubrey and use the hand motions?"And, "what if she is crying right now and Emily doesn't ever want to watch her again?" And, "What if I didn't leave enough milk and she's screaming and Em can't thaw milk fast enough?" Imagine my relief when Roy broke the incessant thoughts with "It is so hard not to call and check up on Aubrey. I miss her so much." Ahhhhhh. I LOVE my man. We sat down. I ordered a margarita (yum!). I know, I know, pumping and dumping that precious liquid gold is such a shame but Mama needed to relax! It was kind of like our first date. It was full of awkward moments and staring into each other's eyes. I loved every second. We tried so hard to have normal, everyday conversation but every now and then one of us would throw in, 'I hope she's okay.' Luckily Roy left his phone in the car....but we still managed to text my sister and they were fine. We were gonna hit a movie but when we pulled up to the parking lot we both agreed we missed our Little Monster too much. ....and we went home... this....

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