The doctor comes in and straight up tells me that I do indeed have Cholestasis and that if I don’t deliver her soon she will die.
He walks out to call my doctor. I start to panic. I can hear him laughing and chatting away like it was just a casual phone call. Seconds pass and I can no longer hear the conversation my mind start to spin and I feel like I am not in my body. He comes back in.
“Dr. Koning says to head to the hospital immediately. Go straight to Labor and Delivery, not to his office.”
I do my best to focus on what he is telling me but my ears are buzzing and the only thing I could think of was that this wasn’t my plan. And, who is going to take care of my dogs?
I thank the doctor and make a beeline for the door. In the elevator there are two other girls and I struggle to keep it together. How am I going to tell Roy we are having a baby? What’s going to happen? This is crazy.
I make it outside and I pull out my phone and before I could even press a button the tears are streaming down my face. He answers and I can’t speak. He asks me if it’s time and I try to reply but it comes out all jumbled and makes absolutely no sense. I barely made it to my car before I start sobbing and I tell him what happened in between breaths.
I didn’t head straight to the hospital.
How could I? I was freaking out.
I called my mum and left her a message as I drove straight home. I wanted to make sure the dogs had food and I wanted to pick up my bags. Most of all, I wanted Roy to meet me at home so he could drive to the hospital. There was no way I could have done it alone.
There were so many emotions running through me. Roy called again and we laughed about how our daughter’s delivery was not going to our plan.
I got home and got everything ready while I waited for Roy to make it. He came home and showered and we were on our way.
We made it to the hospital and when we pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car I burst into tears. We were about to walk in as a couple and if everything went well we were going to be walking out as a family of three. We went inside and walked to the Maternity Ward. It was surreal; a couple of months ago we walked through on the tour and now we were actually here for a reason. When we got to the check in desk I explained what we were doing there because it was apparent that I was not in active labor.
They took my weight and set me up in a room. I was given a gown and told to change and to pee in a cup. It was around that time that everyone was getting the message that the baby was on her way and they were starting with the calls and texts.
My nurse’s name was Merisa and she was amazing. She calmed my nerves. She was a fast talking; witty woman and I thank the universe for allowing her to be my nurse because I was really anxious. I got into bed and she hooked me up to the blood pressure cuff, fetal monitor and contraction monitor and explained everything that she was doing. I was to be given Cytotec at the minimum of every 4 hours and I could have up to 6 rounds of it before other measures were taken. She checked my cervix as she gave me the drug and told me that I was about 1 cm dilated and that Aubrey was still pretty high up. At about that time the doctor strolled in and repeated what the nurse said about the drug. He added that most women’s bodies will take 2 rounds of the Cytotec and then their bodies intervene and then they labor on their own. It made me so hopeful because it was in my plan to labor naturally with little to no intervention.
Meanwhile the “cramps” that I had been having all week turned out to be contractions…
The rest of the evening played out like this:
Mother and sister arrived and sent Roy out to get me something to eat. I contracted. Mother and sister left after making sure we were going to be alright. I contracted. We laughed at the horrible television selections and made predictions about when Aubrey would arrive. The nurses changed shifts and I met my evening nurse, Lisa. We were told to get some sleep. Roy fell asleep. I contracted and couldn’t fall asleep because I was so excited.
11 p.m. brought on another round of Cytotec.
I would sleep in 20 minute increments while I contracted in 2-3 minute increments. The contractions were intense but nothing I couldn’t manage with focus and deep breathing.
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