Sunday, January 22, 2012

To the Bottle...

Dear Aubrey,

Tonight we gave you your first bottle of breast milk. I will be returning to work very soon and have been pumping after our feedings to build up a stash for you. Anyway, it was my idea to give you a bottle just to see how you would take it. I must admit that at first I was a little bit excited by the idea because that meant that Papa and I might be able to get out and have a date ALONE (don't get me wrong, my love, we do love taking you out with us but I get so distracted by making sure that you are okay that it kills the romantic vibe).

So as Papa bathed you I prepared a bottle. Since Papa doesn't get to have that bonding time with you I had him feed you. It's funny, as soon as he lifted the bottle I had such a sudden change of emotions - I was sad, angry, jealous, to name a few. I was sad because I know that by giving you bottles that it means that I will be heading back to work very soon. I was angry because I would give anything to be able to stay home with you so that I can raise you in my terms and continue to breastfeed exclusively without a bottle. And I was jealous because feeding you is something that only I have been able to do for you and now anyone can take a bottle and fulfill that need.

Tomorrow you will be seven weeks old - where has the time gone?

I love you.




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